Orientation is the induction gag in the service series: new employee, open positions, night shift only. A TWINK DEATH original that pretends a rave ships with a training program. What's meant is day one on the job, not sexual orientation.
The Open Positions
Four of them, listed on the department page. Hours flexible, nights only, no daytime cover available. No interview, no CV screening, and the references box is decorative — nobody is phoning anyone. You turn up and choose a position, and you can move to a different one the moment you feel like it, without notice and without telling a soul.
Worth stating once: the position where you don't work at all sits on the same list as the rest. Choosing it isn't opting out of the evening.
What the Three Requirements Mean
Communication: you say what you want and you ask what he wants. Consent: a yes that can be taken back at any point, and a no that stands without a renegotiation. Respect: the entire rest of the night, from the line at the bar to the coat check. Three items, not a rulebook. Bring them and you need no induction at all. Turn up without them and no induction is going to install them.
AT TWINK DEATH
"New employee? Welcome aboard." Then the form: "Job requirements: Communication. Consent. Respect. Experience: optional." That is the complete list, and it is the only part of the joke meant literally.
Optional means optional. Standing in a club like this for the first time is nothing to get wrong, as long as the three items above are in place. And twenty years on the scene entitles a man to precisely nothing. Seniority buys no credit here. Behavior tonight does.
Related Terms
- Service Department — the firm you're starting at.
- Consent — item two, and the non-negotiable one.